How to address?

Have you heard the term, “Old School” – well, as I share my thoughts and experience relating to this specific topic, I want you to keep in mind that ‘Old School’ is another way of saying ‘Traditional’ as well as ‘Most Respectful’ in this post. These are the views of my dojo, my teacher, our culture and what we teach our students when it comes to etiquette. I’ve heard this question often in Aikido. How do I address this person? Let me give you a few examples.

• When addressing kohai, you would simply call them by their first name followed by ‘san’ which is a respectful way to address that person.
• When addressing a sempai, you could do the same or simply say ‘sempai’.
• When addressing a black belt, you could do any of the above provided they weren’t the current teacher of that class. You could address them as ‘sensei’. That is proper etiquette as in Aikido, we often reserve that ‘designation’ for Yudansha.

Where this gets trickier is when there are multiple black belts in a dojo, some teach and some don’t. Again, default to the above protocol.

Now, the Chief Instructor and the Dojo Cho, usually the senior most teachers in a dojo, sometimes one in the same, should simply be referred to as ‘Sensei’.  If you are referring to someone in the 3rd Person. You can attach their Family Name first followed by ‘Sensei’ so that to whomever you are talking knows to whom you are referencing.

You shouldn’t address your instructor directly by their first name followed by ‘sensei’. And of course, you definitely do not want to address them by their first name with or without ‘san’. That would be considered poor etiquette.

Now let’s go a little deeper, and this is where it gets a little sticky with Social Media or in public for that matter. I was taught never to address a Sensei by their first name so if I were writing “Happy Birthday” to them on Facebook, I would want to refer to them as ‘Sensei’ especially the higher rank they are, e.g. Technical Committee Shihan.

I’ve noticed this trend where some junior black belts will refer to Shihan by their first name and then ‘Sensei’. That in my opinion is very poor etiquette. You see that sometimes by a senior black belt referring to a junior black belt as a ‘casual’ sign of respect. Example, I was at a seminar and the 6th Dan teaching referred to the upcoming teacher (6th Dan) in the next class as ‘First Name Sensei’. I also see this often with some Shihan that are 7th Dan referencing to 6th Dans that they’ve known for 30 years. But even if you have an extremely close relationship with that teacher, E.g. ‘You’ve hosted them in your home, You talk on the phone, i.e. you’re friends – in public, I wouldn’t address them or reference them by their first name.

Finally, humility comes out and respect even at times where it’s not even necessary. Example, our Dojo Chief Instructor is Dennis Main Sensei. Sometimes, you’ll see or hear people say Sensei Dennis Main both correct in the 3rd person but the former is more correct. Now, when I started Aikido, he was a 3rd Dan, so I was a brand new student and for many years he referred to me as Jonathan-san. That never goes away. There is no etiquette that told him to start calling me ‘Weiner Sensei’ in front of our students. He chose to do that. Why, I’m not sure. As an example of humility and showing me more respect than is required, however, that is a great example of the culture of our dojo – Non-Ego driven.

The above is strictly relating to Aikido etiquette and not necessarily relationships that extend off the mat in different settings as well as history. I will touch on that topic later.

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